There is this fascinating belief called “declinism” which is the general belief that society or institutions are trending downwards. Though this is in no small part due to cognitive bias having us believe that the past was perfect and the future is bleak, there is no denying that lack of community is taking its toll on peoples lives.

The internet has given us many incredible things, but it has also done a wonderful job of isolating and separating us from the people in our immediate community. Why would you commune with someone who has a differing worldview but lives next door when you could talk with people with all of the same views and opinions as you, all around the world?

But if the pandemic didn’t seal the deal, then the most recent US election definitely did—we need to build community.

So, let’s take a break from our regularly scheduled sex content and talk about something that is going to be crucial over the next four years and beyond… building and fostering true community.

What is Community?

Community isn’t just a friend group. It’s a group of people who are intentionally coming together with the purpose of support, impact, and initiative greater than any one person could achieve on their own. Throughout history, we’ve seen communities raise children collectively, enact social change, lead countercultural movements, share their passion for a cause, and come together to get each other through difficult times. 

Community means fellowship, and in a time where pretty much every interaction, job, and course is done online, in-person community is more important than ever. Because regardless of what happens, we need to be able to knock on our neighbor’s door and ask for a cup of sugar.

What’s more, we need people beyond our immediate families who can physically be there to support and advocate for us in times of need.

Why Are Young People Lonely?

You don’t have to be alone to feel lonely, but in the case of today’s young adults and adolescents, the pandemic and the ensuing instability in the years after have created a population of young people who are both physically and emotionally alone. A 2020 report found that 79% of Gen Z and 71% of Millennials report being lonely, compared to only 50% of Baby Boomers. Another recent study found that loneliness among teenagers rose between 2012 and 2018. Additionally, marginalized groups are more likely to suffer from feelings of loneliness.

During the lockdown portion of the pandemic, everyone was isolated. But when everyone else returned to “business as usual” once restrictions were lifted, it was young people who were left suffering.

Young people were stripped of years of valuable time to build social and emotional skills. Instead, they turned to social media to satisfy the need for social interaction and community. Which, as many of us are aware, has the potential to backfire majorly. Because instead of feeling like a part of the group, watching other people have fun, look perfect, and get everything that they’ve ever wanted through a phone screen does a great job of making people feel alone, unaccomplished, and othered.

This sense of isolation has led to a need for community for everyone, but it’s also made community-building more difficult. We don’t need to interact with the people in our space the same way that we used to. Which means that community-building takes more work than ever. But the work is well worth it in the end.

Tips to Build Community

When it comes to building true community, feeling like you belong (rather than feeling like you need to fit in) is everything.  You might have to practice putting yourself out there, become comfortable with walking away from what doesn’t serve you, and spend time nurturing the connections that give you a good vibe. But it is, and always will be, worth it. Here are some tips to consider while working to build community for yourself and others:

Start Small and Local

Begin with the people around you. Talk to neighbors, attend local events, or join a nearby group that aligns with your interests. A shared activity, like a book club or community garden, can be a great icebreaker and help foster organic connections.

Be the Initiator

If there’s a lack of community events in your area, take the lead. Organize a potluck, get a group together to clean up your local park, or initiate a happy hour meetup. Sometimes, people are simply waiting for someone else to make the first move. That someone could be you.

Build Community Around a Cause

Shared values and passions bring people together. Volunteer for a cause that resonates with you, whether that’s environmental advocacy, animal welfare, or social justice. Working side-by-side with others towards a common goal is a powerful way to build lasting bonds.

Use Technology with Intention

While the internet has contributed to feelings of isolation, it can also be a tool for connection if used wisely. But remember: online connections should complement, not replace, in-person connections.

Embrace Vulnerability

Community thrives on authenticity. Sharing your struggles and being open about your needs fosters trust and invites others to do the same. Vulnerability can turn acquaintances into confidants and help you and those around you feel truly seen and supported.

Tips for Overcoming Social Anxiety

In the US, an estimated 12.1% of adults experience social anxiety disorders at some point in their lives. These feelings of social anxiety were heightened globally during the COVID-19 pandemic. This, mixed with the isolation that people experienced during that period, have likely made community-building increasingly difficult. But overcoming social anxieties is key to building true connections. Here are some tips that will hopefully help you overcome these challenges:

Set Realistic Goals

You don’t need to become the life of the party overnight. Start by setting small, achievable goals—like saying hello to a neighbor or attending a low-pressure event with a friend.

Practice Active Listening

Focusing on what others are saying takes the pressure off you to perform or come up with witty responses. Plus, it shows that you’re genuinely interested in connecting.

Be Kind to Yourself

Instead of fearing rejection or beating yourself up over everything you say, remind yourself that most people are more focused on themselves than judging you. Approach interactions with curiosity rather than self-criticism.

Seek Professional Support if Needed

If social anxiety feels overwhelming, a therapist can provide strategies and support to help you navigate those feelings.

Why Community Matters Now More Than Ever

In a world where isolation feels like the norm, building and fostering community is a radical act. It’s about choosing connection over division, vulnerability over self-reliance, and collaboration over individualism. All of these things are markers of progress, which is desperately needed now and always.

Plus, the benefits when you build community are undeniable: better mental health, a sense of belonging, and the knowledge that you’re a part of something bigger than yourself. Whether you’re a young person looking to make friends, or someone who simply wants to see a better future for everyone, community is the antidote to loneliness.