Sex and sexuality are universal human experiences, yet the intimacy of the topic makes it a conversation that often happens in hushed whispers and incognito Google searches. So, we are bringing the conversation into the open, with education and resources that embrace the diversity of the human experience. Adults from all walks of life are welcome at GETSOME.
Our approach to sexual education combines compassion with humor to help everyone overcome the often daunting task of addressing sexual shame. Because, no matter who you are or who you love, you deserve to GETSOME.
In case you haven’t heard the news, our Sex Therapist Hotline is officially open for business! The hotline is a 100% anonymous form where you can ask all of the sex questions you’ve been curious about but too afraid to ask. GETSOME founder and ASTO-certified sex therapist Michelle Fischler will answer your question here on the blog and in our monthly email newsletter. If you have a question to ask anonymously, you can submit it here!
Recently, our audience has been curious about ejaculation and orgasms. Let’s answer two questions submitted by members of the GETSOME community:
Short answer? Yes, squirting is a real thing. It’s not just for porn.
But this question sparks up an age-old debate between scientists and speculators alike… what actually is squirting?
There are a few types of vaginal wetness that might be experienced during sexual stimulation beyond just vaginal lubrication, and squirting is one of them. And there’s another called female ejaculation. Female ejaculation is a much thicker substance, closer to male ejaculate in consistency. It can be gray, white, or pearl opalescent in color.
Squirting fluid, on the other hand, tends to be thinner and more transparent. More like water. Or, perhaps more accurately, like urine. Which is what many people believe squirting fluid actually is. Yes, squirting fluid originates in the bladder. And yes, the substance does include urine. But it’s not as simple as “when someone is squirting, they’re urinating.”
Because squirting fluid also contains a substance that comes from the Skene’s glands, which are two glands located on either side of the urethra, believed to secrete an antimicrobial substance to lubricate the urethra opening.
The belief that squirting is “fake” or “made up” for pornography and the fact that it originates from the bladder both contribute to the taboo around squirting. But in reality, squirting is significantly more common than one might think, with approximately 40% of people with vaginas having experienced squirting at least once in their lifetime.
It’s possible for both penis and vulva owners to orgasm without ejaculation. Actually, the way that everyone orgasms isn’t all that different. In research conducted by psychophysiologist Dr. Nicole Prause, she found that when anal devices were attached to both men and women they could not distinguish the two in the orgasm contractile patterns.
For penis owners in particular, orgasm and ejaculation often happen in tandem. But they are not the same thing. It is completely possible for someone with a penis to orgasm without ejaculating. And though it is rare, it’s possible for them to ejaculate without orgasm as well. This is called ejaculatory anhedonia, or anaesthetic ejaculation.
Vulva owners can orgasm with and without ejaculation. As we noted above, squirting and female ejaculation are actually two different things. And as for whether or not everyone with a vagina is able to squirt? The jury’s still out on that one.
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Thanks for tuning in to this edition of Ask a Sex Therapist!
If reading this brought up any questions of your own, click here to visit our Sex Therapist Hotline and anonymously submit your questions!
We’ll be back to answer more questions next month. Until then, here are a few ways to continue your adult sex ed with GETSOME:
Our latest learning module, Unlearning Sexual Shame, is a four-part lesson on discovering, discussing, and unlearning the feelings of shame that you feel surrounding sex. It’s the perfect resource for self-study, or as a supplement to traditional therapy.
We deliver sex education directly to your inbox every other week in our newsletter! If you like quick hits of encouragement, celebrating sexuality, and staying in the loop, this is the place to be.
Our podcast is a wealth of knowledge and candid conversations about sex, sexuality, shame, and pleasure with people from all walks of life.