Here at GETSOME, conversations about sex, shame, and addiction aren’t uncommon. That’s because the three factors combined can feed into one another and lead to detrimental mental and physical health issues.

“Sex Addiction” is a term that gets thrown around a lot in our culture, often in reference to a person with a very high sex drive. Though it’s a common phrase in our modern vernacular, we’ve found that very few know the actual origins of the term.

Even fewer are aware of the scientific foundation of the term (or rather, the lack thereof). So, let’s dive into the history of sex addiction and take a close look at whether the term holds any scientific weight.

Understanding Sex Addiction: Debunking Myths

Sex addiction is a controversial topic within academia and popular discourse. Despite the widespread use and acceptance in the media and certain clinical settings, there is considerable disagreement amongst experts about the validity of sex addiction as a concept.

The biggest myth surrounding sex addiction is that it’s a well-defined and scientifically validated diagnosis when, in fact, it isn’t and never has been. Despite the widespread use of the term, and even the acceptance of “sex addiction” as a diagnosis with some therapists and practitioners, sex addiction has never been recognized in the DSM (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).

Not only that, but there is a massive industry that relies on sex addiction being a valid diagnosis, and the cultural belief that sex is addictive in the same ways that drugs and alcohol are.

A conversation about the truth about sex addiction would not be complete without including Dr. David Ley, a leading clinical psychologist and vocal critic of the concept of sex addiction. He argues that the concept of sex addiction is often based on moralistic judgment rather than empirical evidence, which leads to the pathologization of regular sexual behaviors.

On top of that, Dr. Ley argues that the idea of sex addiction is based on the incredibly limiting heteronormative, monogamous views of sex and sexuality. And, because the idea of sex addiction implies uncontrollable, compulsive sexual behavior, it excuses bad and dangerous sexual behavior by taking the responsibility away from the individual and placing it on the diagnosis.

The History of Sex Addiction

The concept of sex addiction has a complex and contested history. The term “hypersexuality” was first seen in psychiatric literature in the late 19th century. Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous was first founded in 1977 by a long-term Alcoholic Anonymous member. Shortly thereafter, conservative evangelical groups began using sex addiction as a means to support their beliefs surrounding sex and sexuality. 

But the idea of sex addiction as we know it was popularized in no small part due to a psychologist named Patrick Carnes. His book Out of the Shadows, which was published in 1983. It’s not a coincidence that the concept of sex addiction quickly took hold in our popular culture at the height of the AIDS epidemic (a time when “sexual promiscuity” was seen as life threatening). To this day, men who have sex with men report a higher rate of sex addiction compared to the general public. Which links back to a heteronormative understanding of sex and sexuality.

In reality, sex and sexuality are so much more nuanced and complex than something like “sex addiction” makes room for.

The Complexity of Human Sexuality

The truth is, human sexuality is multi-faceted, personal, and deeply complex. Our individual relationship to sex is shaped by a combination of biology, psychology, and social and cultural factors. In fact, diversity is one of the consistents in human sexuality. People have a broad spectrum of desires, preferences, and behaviors, and their relationship to their own sexuality also varies greatly.

Not only that, but sexuality is fluid, and will almost certainly evolve, shift, ebb, and flow over the course of your adult life. 

The problem with the idea of sex addiction is that it leaves no room for the complexities of human sexuality. There’s no nuance and, as Dr. Ley so aptly puts it, the idea of sex addiction “mistakes the symptoms for the cause.”

Though sex addiction may not be a formal diagnosis, there certainly is such a thing as sexual impulsivity. Fighting against urges that you feel like you can’t control doesn’t make you an addict, but you might be struggling with an impulse control disorder. In which case, we highly recommend seeking professional support.

Seeking Professional Support

If you feel yourself exhibiting impulsive or compulsive behaviors, you deserve to feel relief. A good therapist will help you pull back the curtain on what you might perceive as sex addiction and uncover the root cause of those uncontrollable urges or behaviors. They will also help you build coping strategies that aren’t masturbation or sex.

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There’s so much to be said about sex, addiction, and the cultural beliefs that led to the prevalence of “sex addiction” as an incorrect and informal diagnosis. This certainly won’t be the last time we talk about it. In the meantime, if you have any questions about sex and addiction, click here to anonymously submit them to our Sex Therapist Hotline.

If you’re eager to continue the conversation about sex, shame, and breaking free from stigma, click here to check out our online learning module Unlearning Sexual Shame.

And if you want to learn more about Compulsive Sexual Behavior, here’s a book we love!