In August, pint-sized pop star Sabrina Carpenter released her album Short n’ Sweet. In typical Carpenter fashion, the album has no shortage of innuendo and not-so-innuendo. One song in particular keeps getting stuck in our heads—Bed Chem.

Not to be confused with “chem sex” (which is an entirely different post in itself, let us know if you want to learn about it), we think of “bed chem” as a rush of dopamine and trust that allows you to fully embrace and express your sexuality. Ever since we heard Sabrina utter the words “I know we’d have really good bed chem,” we’ve been wondering…

How can you have better “bed chem” with your partner, friend with benefits, or next hookup?

Contrary to what you might think, increasing sexual chemistry between yourself and a partner isn’t typically about whipping out the craziest moves or the latest toy. It’s actually what you do before and after a sexual interaction that improves chemistry. 

The Importance of Communication for Sexual Compatibility

If you’ve been reading the GETSOME blog for any amount of time, then you won’t be surprised that our biggest tip for improving sexual chemistry between yourself and a partner is to communicate with one another. We may sound like a broken record, but we can’t overstate the importance of communication. Especially when you’re searching for…

• Better sexual chemistry and compatibility
• Greater sexual comfort and satisfaction
• A deeper personal and romantic connection
• The freedom and ability to explore your kinks and sexual desires with a partner

Regardless of whether you’re seeking a long-term relationship with a sexual partner, communication is key. You don’t need a lengthy history with someone in order to have electric sexual chemistry, but you do need to know how to communicate your needs and boundaries with your partner and ask for what you want.

That’s because it’s typically the lead-up to a sexual encounter that charges sexual chemistry, and in order for the flirting and foreplay to start long before you hit the sheets, you need to be able to communicate your needs.

How to Supercharge Your Sexual Chemistry

Often, the real excitement lies in the build-up to intimacy. This anticipation, flirtation, and communication leading up to sex can create a slow-burn effect that intensifies the actual experience and in turn, your “bed chem” with that partner. Here are two tips for opening up the line of trust and communication and supercharging your sexual chemistry—

Be clear with your desires and expectations

And when your partner comes to you with their own desires and expectations, respect them. There might be certain things that one partner is into or interested in that the other is strictly not. This doesn’t mean that you’re sexually incompatible or have bad chemistry, but rather that you need to find the middle ground of what’s pleasurable for both parties.

Clear mental clutter and stress before sex

This makes room for a more open-minded, clear-headed sexual encounter. When you are out of your head and in your body, really taking the time to experience and savor all of the sensations, you are more likely to feel better bed chem with your partner. Practicing mindfulness is a great tool for feeling less shame and more pleasure during sexual experiences. 

Sexual Chemistry and Romantic Compatibility

It’s important to note that good sexual chemistry doesn’t necessarily mean that you and a partner are romantically compatible. If you’ve ever had a strict “friend with benefits” relationship, you know this to be true. Having good sex doesn’t mean you’re meant to date or be in a monogamous relationship with each other. This is totally fine. Many people are simply looking for a great hookup, or someone that they can trust to have great sex with without the emotional attachments of a relationship.

Additionally, having strong sexual chemistry with someone doesn’t necessarily mean that you should be having sex with them. Just because you and your toxic ex had amazing sex doesn’t mean that you should open the can of worms that comes with getting involved with them sexually or romantically. Use discretion when it comes to your sexual encounters and if you feel yourself using sex as a coping mechanism (and are feeling bad about it), find a trusted sex therapist or clinician in your area to talk to.

Looking for resources while you search for the right therapist?

The Unshaming Sex Resource Hub offers evidence-based tools and guides to help you navigate sexual boundaries, communication, and decision-making without shame.

🔗 Explore the Unshaming Sex Resource Hub

In both cases, it’s important to be open, honest, and straightforward about your needs, desires, boundaries, and expectations. You can experience amazing sexual chemistry with someone without planning on a romantic connection, and both of you can be perfectly happy with that.It is equally possible to build or reignite electric sexual chemistry with a romantic partner. Ultimately, it’s all a matter of open and honest communication.