I was on Justin Lehmiller’s Sex and Psychology Podcast this week, episode 502, and we spent 35 minutes on exactly this: why the performance framing keeps people stuck, and what a nervous system lens actually changes. It felt like the right moment to put this in writing. Performance anxiety in sex is treated like a […]

A playful banana image representing circumcision and foreskin health in a sex therapist’s guide.

Ever searched why do I lose my erection and found nothing but ads? This post explores how pharma dominates Google—and why shame-free sex education gets buried.

Why We Need to Talk About Soft Penises (Yes, Yours) Unshaming the soft penis is a critical conversation that needs to happen. Understanding unshaming the soft penis can redefine your sexual experiences. You’re having sex. Things are heating up. You’re into it—or at least, you think you are. And then… it happens. Your erection disappears. […]

Learning about sex, sexuality, desire, and unshaming sex is a lifelong journey. Whether you’re wanting to expand your worldview, embrace your own identity, support a loved one, or finally let go of the shame you were taught to carry—unshaming sex doesn’t happen all at once. It happens through curiosity, reflection, and trusted tools that meet […]

A man reclines at ease with headphones, representing somatic-based support and reframing for erection anxiety.