I was on Justin Lehmiller’s Sex and Psychology Podcast this week, episode 502, and we spent 35 minutes on exactly this: why the performance framing keeps people stuck, and what a nervous system lens actually changes. It felt like the right moment to put this in writing. Performance anxiety in sex is treated like a […]

A playful banana image representing circumcision and foreskin health in a sex therapist’s guide.

Ever searched why do I lose my erection and found nothing but ads? This post explores how pharma dominates Google—and why shame-free sex education gets buried.

Why We Need to Talk About Soft Penises (Yes, Yours) You’re having sex. Things are heating up. Then your erection starts to soften. Maybe your partner has climbed on top. Maybe nothing obvious has changed. “Why do I keep losing my erection?” And perhaps, just as quickly: “What does this say about me?” That second […]

Learning about sex, sexuality, desire, and unshaming sex is a lifelong journey. Whether you’re wanting to expand your worldview, embrace your own identity, support a loved one, or finally let go of the shame you were taught to carry—unshaming sex doesn’t happen all at once. It happens through curiosity, reflection, and trusted tools that meet […]

A man reclines at ease with headphones, representing somatic-based support and reframing for erection anxiety.