I was on Justin Lehmiller’s Sex and Psychology Podcast this week, episode 502, and we spent 35 minutes on exactly this: why the performance framing keeps people stuck, and what a nervous system lens actually changes. It felt like the right moment to put this in writing. Performance anxiety in sex is treated like a […]

The word “premature” carries a verdict. Here’s why a certified sex therapist uses “early ejaculation” instead — and why the language shift actually helps.

ASTO-Certified Sex Therapist Michelle Fischler explains the link between shame and early ejaculation, and introduces the unshaming nervous system approach from her new book Coming Soon. Available now at comingsoonbook.ca.

Premature ejaculation affects millions of men. Sex therapist Michelle Fischler wrote Coming Soon: The Unshaming Guide to Early Ejaculation and Lasting Longer — the book that gives you a map, not just techniques. Pre-order now.

Have you ever gone completely blank during a moment that really mattered? You’re in front of a group. Or with someone you care about. You were fine one moment — and the next, you’re gone. Not physically, but mentally. Words vanish. You freeze. This is called a freeze response, and it’s a common part of […]

A playful banana image representing circumcision and foreskin health in a sex therapist’s guide.

Ever searched why do I lose my erection and found nothing but ads? This post explores how pharma dominates Google—and why shame-free sex education gets buried.

Why Shame Shapes Your Dating Patterns (And How to Reconnect with Real Desire) If shame in dating keeps pulling you into the same cycles—overgiving, shrinking, settling, or chasing unavailable partners—you’re not broken. What may be happening is that you’re repeating old relationship blueprints shaped by shame in dating. In this post, you’ll learn 5 subtle […]

Why We Need to Talk About Soft Penises (Yes, Yours) Unshaming the soft penis is a critical conversation that needs to happen. Understanding unshaming the soft penis can redefine your sexual experiences. You’re having sex. Things are heating up. You’re into it—or at least, you think you are. And then… it happens. Your erection disappears. […]

Why Sex Education in Therapy Training Matters for Client Safety Understanding the necessity of sex education in therapy training is crucial for developing competent therapists. 1. It Challenges Personal Discomfort—Not Just Client Shame Sex education in therapy training isn’t just missing from most programs—it’s controversial when it shows up. A recent Wall Street Journal opinion […]